Guest Post February | Self Love

Dear Self,

Don’t neglect the responsibility of nurturing yourself. Your existence and imprint as the woman you’re daily developing and blossoming becoming is irreplaceable, unmatchable, and needed. Love the heck out of yourself, just as God loves you.

 

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Author, Widny L.

I am beyond thrilled, ecstatic, and honored to have been given the opportunity to speak on self-love. Not to mention the fact that this is an area which I have neglected for years, and prevented myself from receiving/giving love, appreciation, embracement; and the relentless power of choosing myself even at the worst painful, confused, questionable moments in my life. I’ve learned and I am still in the process of understanding daily that self-love isn’t just embracing the good parts of you that you’re proud of or others have been fond of; but also taking the time out to love the gooey, flawed, authentic version of yourself and investing time into growing and changing anything about you that would be for the better.

Loving a false you will not heal nor bring out the best version of yourself. When you fall in love with the real you, you’re an unstoppable, unshakeable, undaunted woman in the face of anything that may come against you to question your identity as a woman and as a child of God.

I believe there are many ways a woman can cherish, speak words of affirmation about, and appreciate herself wherever she may find herself in life: in and out of seasons, in her highs and lows, the good the bad, and the ugly; or on valentine’s day as a single or with a significant other… etc. Her self-love should be shown, given as a gift to herself no matter what the circumstances are.

There are a couple of things that I have been implementing more and more of, to the degree that it has become a lifestyle. Why? Because I believe a healthy woman is a growing and fruitful woman. But here’s one thing I’d like to share that can be broken into multiple parts but we will only speak of as one:

Be proactive in your time alone.

It’s our responsibility to nurture the woman you are growing into. No one else can cultivate you the way YOU can. I’ve failed miserably countless of times when I neglected and robbed myself by not choosing to utilize my time alone to discover Widny (you may add your name here also), walk in purpose, practicing to perfect my craft, have a day off to rest, disconnecting myself from social media to properly refocus, investing my heart and mind into things or people that are healthy; and, most importantly, seeing myself the way God sees me. We lose a piece of ourselves ladies when we don’t empower and invest. It will be very difficult to celebrate the next woman who’s popping and flourishing in their lane without being a hater; becoming bitter and envious of her.

When you take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, everything around you falls into its proper place. And ladies; correct me if I am wrong, but when you take care of yourself (and I am not referring to any materialistic possessions, titles, status), you glow differently; inner peace and joy becomes your GLOW.

Happy Valentine’s day, ladies!!!


To contact Widny, go to thewidster.com

Finding Yourself and Your Purpose

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Finding Yourself + Your Purpose

Finding yourself is not a walk in the park, and it might take you longer than others to do so and that is completely okay. I really didn’t ‘try’ to find my purpose until I got into college and realized that life is really moving and I eventually have to be going somewhere. Figuring out who we are and what we want out of life can be challenging… especially if at any point you, like me, veered off the course of self-exploration and self-acceptance. Somewhere down the road, expect life to smack you in the face enough times to give you a wakeup call. I could go on and on about what lead me to finding myself and my purpose, but for the sake of this topic I’ll stick to the steps needed in order to do so.

accept yourself, above all else

Forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your strengths. Remove your inner critic. It always easier said than done, right? I know. But all of these things are so necessary. Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves that we forget to acknowledge how far we’ve come. Sometimes we try to reach a standard that someone else set for us. These things can be so toxic to your life if you don’t control it.

speak to your best self

Speak to your best self! You know, that boss ass bitch inside you! haha, bring her out and let her reign. Close your eyes and imagine yourself 10 years down the road. Skin glowing, your excelling in your career, you own your own house and car — whatever expectations  you have for yourself, speak them into existence.

be selfish

Find the balance between 50% selflessness, and 50% selfishness. Take your “me” time, know when you need it, and learn how to give it to yourself. I said it once and I’ll say it again, don’t let people manipulate you into thinking you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. Ever. Figure out what energizes you, what makes you happy, how you connect to yourself. Don’t sacrifice those things – put them first. In the end, you can’t rely on anyone but yourself to bring you true happiness so stop waiting for anything or anyone outside yourself to try and start being the vessel that helps you receive it. Becoming extremely sensitive and selfish with yourself, time, and energy are essential to creating the person you’re meant to be.
do what you love, love what you do
You know that saying, “do what you love and you’ll never hate a Monday”? Sometimes we feel we don’t know what our purpose is when in fact, it’s lingering within us. To start, try everything. Start broad and ask yourself, “What do I want to experience on a daily basis?” It will help point you in the right direction. Be patient. When you find something you love doing, do your research. Find out what jobs are available out there for what you want to do and figure out how you can profit from your passion.
pray
I shared this with my friends a few days ago, and I really wanted to share it with you guys as well.

I’ve been waking up super early than usual since June and I’ve been asking God why. Like I’m talking about 6 AM type of early when I usually wake up say 9-10 AM. Along the way and through prayer, I’ve been asking God to help me walk in His purpose and live the life He wants me to live. Since then every morning I wake up, I get this urge to blog and write. Before I didn’t have time for it because of work, thus I wasn’t able to become consistent. Now I get up every morning and just write. I’m not tired or weary. I have all types of energy to get things done. Long story short, when you ask God for something and you continue to listen to Him and obey His word, He will give you the desires of your heart. Through this God shows me what my purpose is. Now I know what I want to do, is what He called me to do and that makes me happy.

If God woke you up today, that means you’re blessed and your purpose on this Earth isn’t fulfilled yet. Everyday you wake up, you’re one step closer to your dreams. Everything you do today (not tomorrow or the next day) creates your future. Remember that ✨


John 15:16

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.


Also, know that you do not have to stick to one thing. You want to be a doctor and a painter, do that. You want to make music and work in retail, do that! You are unlimited. When you find your purpose, you will find happiness and your purpose will become your passion. When you find and accept yourself, you will gain peace and more understanding. Accepting who you are and knowing your values will help you to look at other people as mirrors. Meaning, you will be able to understand others better without having to having shift your mindset to theirs.

I hope these tips were helpful. #LetsChat! Comment below with your answers.

Question: what things can hold you back from doing the things that you really want to?img_5188

Less is More | Ways to Detox Your Life

Have you ever looked at your life and thought about how you have so much to do yet not enough time? Have you ever seemed unsatisfied even after getting what you want? Or find yourself wanting more? I tend to do this a lot as a college student. Trying to do it all, be it all, and have it all is exhausting. All too often we tend to push ourselves to be the best, and end up realizing that some of the things we want aren’t really that important. Recently, I’ve started reading “Less is More” by Domonique Bertolucci. I encourage you all to read it, but in the mean time here’s some knowledge that I’ve gained and would like to share with you all. ❤️

“Take care of your body. Its the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

Spring Cleaning

You don’t have to wait ’till spring to do some spring cleaning – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you’re not careful, toxic people can negatively influence the way you think, feel, and behave.

Toxic People

They can introduce unnecessary stress into your life and cause chaos that will drag you down. Those who waste your time, criticize you all of the time, play victim, and constantly disappoint you… G2G! If you find yourself talking negative about them a lot, blaming them for your behavior, or even feel like they are dwindling your self-esteem… G2G! Oh and also, learn to say no!


Be Present

These two words can make a huge difference in simplifying your life. Living here and now, in the moment, keeps you aware of life, of what is going on around you and within you. It does wonders for your sanity.

  1. Find inner simplicity. I have found that spending a little time with my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion. This could be time praying or communing with God, or time spent meditating or journaling or getting to know yourself, or time spent in nature. However you do it, working on your inner self is worth the time.
  2. Develop equanimity. If every little thing that happens to you sends you into anger or stress, your life might never be simple. Learn to detach yourself, and be more at peace.
  3. Free up time. Find ways to free up time for the important stuff. That means eliminating the stuff you don’t like, cutting back on time wasters, and making room for what you want to do.

Learn what “enough” is.

Our materialistic society today is about getting more and more, with no end in sight. Sure, you can get the latest anything. More stuff. But when will you have enough? Most people don’t know, and thus they keep wanting more. We also look at others and wish our life was like theirs. We look at our lives and aren’t satisfied. We sometimes become jealous and start trying to live a life that was not made for us.  It’s a never ending cycle. Get off the cycle by figuring out how much is enough. And then stop when you get there.

  1. Practice moderation. 

    “Nothing is more deliberating than living a life of extremes. If you want to live a long and healthy life, make sure you try a bit of everything and not too much of anything.” – Domonique Bertolucci

  2. Limit your media consumption.  I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Take a break. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast. Turn your phone for a few minutes a day and be present.
  3. Be content. Love your life. Be happy with your growth and where you are now. Appreciate the people God sent you, they are there for a reason.  Don’t look for satisfaction in the way someone else is living their life because their life wasn’t meant for you. Appreciate His blessings because your life could always be worse.

“Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.” – Dada Vaswani

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